Niko's Birth Story
some thoughts and memories
FROM THE DAY WE BROUGHT OUR SECOND SON EARTHSIDE.
Being pregnant for the third time proved to be very similar to my other two. Morning sickness / nausea during the first trimester that went away around 14 weeks. Followed then by a relatively smooth second and third trimester with some pregnancy insomnia mixed in during the last month or so. With all the similarities with my previous pregnancies, I was fully expecting to give birth 4-5 days early (Max was 4 days early and Cora was 5). Well, Niko had other plans. And while 4-5 days doesn’t seem like much, when you’re ultra-aware of every tightening and “different” feeling in your body, the days really draaaag on.
Fast-forward to Friday, February 19th. I had lost my mucus plug around 8am but wasn’t feeling any contractions throughout the day. Still. Tim and I were like two frantic little nesting birds…doing dishes and laundry and at one point, I looked out the window and saw Tim hacking away at an overgrown hedge in our yard - anything to ease the pre-baby nerves, right?! We were laughing at ourselves, knowing that the nerves were kicking in big time!
Well, I didn’t have a single contraction all day (other than the normal Braxton Hicks I’d been getting for the previous week or so). I went to bed that night, still anxious but also accepted the fact that this might be the first time I hit my due date or even went past it. I woke up at about 6 the next morning with a dull pain in my back. I hadn’t had any back pain during my pregnancy (shocker - since I had back pain throughout my other 2 pregnancies), so this was something new. I woke up to Max wanting a big cuddle and then he asked if I would go downstairs and help him get breakfast. I stopped to go to the bathroom and when I did, there was some blood. Now, I know what the “bloody show” looks like and this was more blood than was expected. I immediately called my midwife and she asked me to send her a photo. After seeing the amount of blood, she suggested a trip to the hospital. We immediately called my mother-in-law to watch the other 2 while Tim and I drove to the hospital at about 8am. We went into the labor and delivery ward and I was assessed by the midwife on call, who was actually covering for my midwife who was unfortunately sick that day. They checked me out and said it was nothing to worry about but to come back if there was any more blood.
Nervously, we drove home, hoping for the best for the rest of the day. I tried to relax and not worry too much. At about 2pm, I was on the phone with my Mom, sitting on my birthing ball because I realized the back pain that I had woken up to was actually turning into contractions in my back (AKA back labor. OUCH). My Mom suggested I start timing my contractions and call my midwife based on the timing of my contractions and not my pain level. A little back story - with Max, I walked into the hospital at 9cm and scaled my pain level at a 3 out of 10. The nurses kept saying “did you eat nails for breakfast?!”. So my Mom kept reminding me, “Remember…nails for breakfast? I think you have a high pain tolerance. Just won’t wait too long to go to the hospital.” Wise words, mom. I knew she was getting worried, so I took her advice and started timing my contractions. They were pretty irregular, but coming every 3-6 minutes and lasting about 30-45 seconds. I just didn’t think it was quite time yet, so I decided to hop in the bath for a bit. Being in the bath really eased the pain in my back, so I stayed in there for as long as possible, watching Parks and Recreation to get my mind off things haha. Cora even hopped in with me at one point, which was so nice and just a fun distraction.
But as I got out of the bath, everything changed. As I was drying off, I noticed blood started dripping down my leg and onto the floor. My heart sank to my stomach and I immediately got so scared. I went to the bathroom and sure enough, more blood. I took a photo and sent it to my midwife, telling her we were heading straight to the hospital. Yet again, my mother-in-law came over to watch the kids. It was just after 6pm when we left for the hospital. That was probably the quietest drive of our lives. We were both worried sick and the uncertainty of what was happening was so intense. When we got to the hospital, we went straight back into the labor and delivery ward where I was strapped to a heart monitor and also a monitor for my contractions. The instant they found baby’s heartbeat, I immediately started bawling. I was so relieved. But then my mind started going to “what now? will they induce? will I need a c-section?” As we waited for the doctor, I told Tim I was willing to do whatever it took to get the baby out safely.
The doctor came in a few minutes later to do an examination to find out where the bleeding was coming from. She decided to check how far dilated I was first. As she checked me, she let out a laugh and said, “Okay. You’re just really brave. You’re 7cm.” Again, I just started crying tears of relief. She said the blood was nothing to worry about - I had probably just dilated really quickly and that was the cause. She called the midwife who was on-call (the one we had luckily met that morning). The doctor said “Alright so you’re 7cm at 7pm!” and then it was all ON - this baby was coming soon!
The midwife arrived shortly after and I moved from the bed onto the birthing ball. As with my other 2 labors, I decided to be open-minded with pain management, but I ended up doing unmedicated births with all 3. The birthing ball was a huge relief with easing up the pressure in my pelvis. Oh, and did I mention that allll the contractions were happening in my back? It was officially back labor, which was something new for me - and yep. Quite intense!! After I had a few contractions that made me lean off the birthing ball because of a diffrent sensation, I decided gt get back onto the bed, up on my knees and holding onto the upright head of the bed. This is how I gave birth to Cora so Tim told the midwife I was close. I also had them turn off the lights and start up the playlist - another sign that baby was near!
This is the point when things go really intense. I focused so much on my breathing and tried not to push until I absolutely had to. I’d been listening to a birth doula whose main focus was to “breathe your baby out” to preserve all your energy for pushing. So this is what I focused on. All of a sudden, I felt a pressure and a strong urge to push. I said “I need to push - it’s coming out!” and started to push. Well, much to my discouragement it wasn’t the baby but actually my bag of waters still intact (which - I literally didn’t even know this was a thing that could happen?!) So with one push, the bag of waters was out and my midwife broke that. Very soon after I felt more pressure and another urge to push. With that first push, the baby crowned, then went back in. I looked at my midwife and said, “Please tell me that’s the baby’s head right there?” She said, “It sure is! Baby is right there.” And that’s all I needed to hear to muster up that final bit of energy. At this point, “My Girl” had started playing on my playlist so between the next contraction I told Tim, “Change this song because if it’s a boy, he cannot be born to My Girl!” and my midwife just laughed and said “How are you even aware of what song is playing right now??” I don’t know why, but focusing on that music was so important in managing my pain in that moment.
So with “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles playing, 2 pushes later, our son was born. I heard him cry and asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?” to which Tim & my midwife both said, “It’s a boy!” I was just soooo happy and relieved and I think I kept saying, “I was right!!” (I had been saying it was a boy since the day I found out I was pregnant). They handed him to me and we immediately had skin-to-skin time. I just kept kissing him and saying “I love you” over and over again, soaking in that absolutely perfect moment of meeting my baby for the first time.
We are so thrilled to bring home our 3rd little love. It was an absolutely amazing day, and I’m very grateful for the experience. I will never take for granted the privilege it is to birth a child, no matter what that looks like. I’ve always said that I have absolutely 0 judgement with the way a woman chooses to deliver - with an epidural, unmedicated, at home, in a tub, in a hospital. Whatever works best for mom & baby is all that matters. And I think that it’s really important to keep an open mind during labor and delivery. You never know what’s going to happen and it’s important to stay calm and take things as they come. We’re so happy to have our boy home with us. Our little bonus boy!
Auckland Newborn Session | Auckland Newborn Photoshoot | Christen Peters Photography